After a divorce, learning how to parent children with your ex-spouse may hinge on how well you communicate. Since you no longer live together, it becomes even more critical that you make every attempt to clearly and effectively discuss the lives of your children.
What happens if this process is not possible in the aftermath of a high-conflict divorce? According to The Center for Parenting Education, keeping the children in focus post-divorce may help parents find ways to communicate without strife or conflict.
The most powerful tool available to parents is the means to communicate without speaking. Email and text messaging have paved the way for divorced parents to maintain or sometimes improve the way they talk to each other in the aftermath of a divorce. Conversing on the phone or in-person may turn into a fight if emotions still seem high. Instead of putting yourself and your children through that experience, it is best to open an email and convey any necessary information that way. This also allows parents to have a reference point should a conflict about the conversation arise.
In some instances, emails or text messaging may not work. In this situation, you may want to consider using a third-party to act as a go-between. A child should never act as an intermediary between the parents, regardless of the age of that child. The court frowns on children passing messages back and forth, and it may come back to haunt you. Instead, agree to utilize an attorney or neutral adult to convey co-parenting messages.
Getting into an effective co-parenting groove after divorce may take time. One of the critical components of success is communication between you and your ex. Focus your attention on coming up with a system that works.